Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Why?

Wil just wrote a nice Blog about how he will be spending Thanksgiving this year. That's how it ended, anyway. It started with a Spiritual experience he had while listening to some Christmas music. I'm not going to write a review of his Blog because that's just weird. www.wherethereswil.blogspot.com Go to that link and you can read it for yourself, and you can read the discussion he and I had through his comments section about the Spiritual aspect of the blog. I tried to make the link, you know, a link, but it didn't work.

Wil sort of posed the question about whether or not one believes in Jesus. No, it wasn't that cut and dry, and if you read his blog first (PS, that's why I gave you the link.) then you'd know that. From any and all I've had the pleasure of learning about Jesus Christ, the most exciting and engaging aspect of his life to me, is that he actually lived his life. Many of the figures in the Bible actually existed, not to mention many of the events described, but to me it is fascinating taking the historical fact that Jesus lived among us, and just starting from there. Jesus lived, believe it. Wil was more than likely speaking about believing in what Jesus taught and philosophised, but when I started the comments discussion, I said the question should be, "Do you believe in God?" That's because I was only thinking from an existence stand point. We can prove a man named Jesus Christ existed, but we can't (from a tangible standpoint) prove that God exists.

Which in turn leads to "Do you have to prove that?" No. No you don't. I do believe in God. I do not believe however, that the Universe and everything within, exist because of and for said God. That's just me. I'm not blogging here with the intent to Preach, or to join others for some cause, I'm just speaking my belief. It's my blog, right?

I've attended Catholic church services many times in my life. That's how I was raised. I went to Sunday School for quite some time. But I never found solace in it. I never felt I needed to go, I never felt I wanted to go, I never even felt like being there once I got there. Then, my parents let me stop going (perhaps being forced to go makes an impression, but I'll save that for later.) and our family as a whole stopped going to church, even on the "Church Holidays" of Christmas, and Easter. Then as I grew older, I never even gave going to service a first, second, or third thought. I did however, begin to educate myself about the world around me. I started to learn about different religions, and how others of different religions either get along, or they don't. From all that I learned, I came to one conclusion. I know that I do not exist here to serve a God, and I do not exist here because of a God. Those are pretty bold statements, I know, but if nothing else, I am a realist. I exist here because of simple biology. Some say that's not true, some say to think a little less literally, and some agree.

To those that say I am only here because God wanted me here, I can't help but just grit my teeth, smile and say thank you. What I'm thinking however, is quite different. Are you serious? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding yourself? Do you seriously just live everyday with the blind faith that everything is here because God said so? And I don't even want the questions answered. I don't because even though I am a realist like I said before, I understand what that person means. I wonder if they do, but I'd like to think my mind, my soul, and my being are open enough to not begin an argument and try to translate their message to something useful for me. Now, I know those people aren't crazy, and if they had kids they know very well how a person enters this world. What I find a little off putting is that even after experiencing Nature at its finest, they have the audacity to state that You are You because of God, or that God made You just the way You are.

I've prayed before. And not just the "everybody let's pray" deal in Church either. I mean that I have found myself in a situation or two where I have had to just stop myself, look around, and ask Why? I've been down, and I've felt defeated to the point where I didn't think I could get back up and face the next challenge without assistance. I believe in God, and I believe communication is necessary and plausible, but I also believe that you can get so much more out of it when you feel it. I can't imagine everyone feels a connection that is forced. I don't think it's necessary to just pray everyday, or every Sunday just pray with others in a place of worship. I believe that Faith can serve you best when you feel that connection. Everyone is going to be different. I'm more than certain that most church goers will tell you that they go to church in order to feel that connection. To me though, that's still forcing it.

I'm marrying my beautiful fiance, Janelle, sometime in the next year. Marriage, traditionally, is a very Religious event. In Catholicism it is what's called a sacrament. My Love wants to get married in a Church, and so do I. Her family is Catholic, and attends church regularly. They are very happy people, and I believe their happiness stems from their Faith. Naturally, they would love to see their daughter married in a Catholic church. I don't have a problem there either, because technically I am also a Catholic. The one thing I'm having a hard time with is the service. We recently went to a Catholic wedding, and the one thing that kept nagging at me was what the Priest was saying. He was saying that as husband and wife, the couple embraces the fact that their marriage is a symbol of their commitment to God, and that every time they say "I love you" it means they are saying it to God as well. That's not me at all, and at the risk of speaking out of turn, that's not Janelle either. I am not marrying her because of a commitment to God, I have a commitment to Janelle and our beautiful life ahead. And when I say "I love you," it is because I love HER, not God. I don't know...maybe I'm being too paranoid about it being to literal. I don't want to just have a ceremony like that and not believe it. I don't think that's fair to those who do. This blog wasn't supposed to be about getting married, but it went there as I was going, so there it is.

Why are We here? I don't know. I can tell you what I think. We are here to live and to love. And that's what I'm gonna do. God, if you're carousing the interwebz and come across my blog, thanks for reading. And thanks for the help I've sought. I know I'll ask for it again.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I Voted Today!

"I Voted Today!" exclaims my little round sticker affixed snugly to my black, work polo shirt. Indeed I did vote today. I must say I was pleasantly surprised with how damn quickly I was able to register and cast my ballot.

I had been voting for years in Buxton, the town I grew up in. I was all set to do that this year as well until I spoke to a friend I work with who made it a point to say he was bringing several forms of proof of residency just in case something went screwy. That got me thinking...I was planning on driving out to Buxton Town Hall after I got out of work in South Portland at 5pm. But as Andrew was telling about his precautions in order to avoid disaster, I got to thinking about how my license says I live in Saco. I hadn't needed to get a new license since the first one I was issued, so it had always said Buxton until I had to get a new one this year due to expiration. Yes, I know you're supposed to get one within 30 days after moving to a new address, but fuck it. I never did, and it never mattered. I even had a few run-ins with the fuzz, and they didn't care. So I decided to leave work at 1:00 so I could make sure I was able to register at Saco City Hall and then go to my polling place to cast my votes. Just yesterday my fiance Janelle had registered here in Saco, and she told me she had to wait nearly an hour while one Blue Hair well within the discounted coffee age sorted through and assisted several people in registering to vote. The way I figured it, since I was literally at the last minute, then maybe I would have to wait at least that long. And then who knows how long I would have to wait to actually cast my vote in this Historic Election?

Well I didn't. Nope. It took me 20 minutes to drive to Saco from South Portland, and it took me less than that to not only register, but also travel to my designated polling place and vote. I also could have registered right there at the school I was assigned to, and had I known that, I wouldn't have even left work when I did. Polls are open til 8 (you got less than 2 hours left at this point if you haven't voted.) and I get out at five, so I would have been able to swing it.

I voted for Obama for President of the United States. If you would like to know why, then check out my past blog titled "Election 08: WTF?!?" Not to toot my own horn, but it's probably my favorite blog that I've written so far in my short Blogging Career. Anyway, voting for Obama/Biden was the easy part. There were also three referendum questions that Janelle and I had gone over last night so those were a cake walk as well. But let me tell you about the difficult part of my voting experience. Folks, I was unaware that Judge of Probate, Register of Probate, and County Treasurer were in dire need of my hot little vote.

County Treasurer? Register and Judge of Probate? Really?! Why aren't these positions just filled? I don't understand why my input is needed when it comes to putting someone in charge of Probate. Seriously, I didn't even know we had to vote for that! It's bad enough when you have to vote for all the senate and state representatives on top of voting for Prez, but I'm supposed to know something about who is better suited for Judge of Probate? There was only one choice for Christ's sake! I hope she's good. She got my vote. Why don't they just have us vote for county mechanic also? I mean someone has to work on city vehicles, and I need to know that person has only my best interest as an American in mind when they're tightening lug nuts on a snow plow! And what about City Librarian? How can I be sure that my rights as a citizen of this Grand Country are being kept in favor by whoever is in charge of our city's literature distribution? These are the things to think about for the next election. I mean President is important, but if my vote is needed for County Treasurer, then I want it to be heard for Chief Street Sweeper as well.

(Ok, I waited til the end before I chimed in on this one....wow....at least he voted for Obama...and we've talked about this, man....use pictures! People like pictures...)